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The Day Before The Day I Died      

 

No one saw it coming.

I knew.

I made a list of my goodbyes.

Then I threw it out.

Always throw your lists out.

Make it up as you go.

Until you can't go anymore.

 

###

 

"I have to die," I told my possessions. "I can't own you anymore."

Nothing objected.

I moved on to the phone book.

I called all the people with names I liked.

I told them what the sky looked like over my house.

Nobody's sky looks quite the same.

I had a lot of old girlfriends and personal history to rewrite.

I made myself the hero every time.

A healthy ego conquers the world.

I ate a hamburger because everybody does.

I should've had a salad.

I tried to concentrate upon meaningful activities.

I repainted my bedroom for the next occupant.

I couldn't guess what their favorite color would be.

I read poetry and wrote some.

I ran the bath and plugged in a radio.

The healthiest thoughts rose to the top.

I stopped looking in mirrors for the answers.

 

###

 

"Let's play for hours," I told my invisible friends.

They always deserted me even before lunch.

I set up my toys upon the cellar floor.

Main Street walked by outside.

I had a lot of story lines to wrap up today.

Given freedom, conclusions tend to reach themselves.

I went along for the ride.

Nobody tells a story like my unconscious.

I missed my audience even though I never had one.

It got lonely faking the applause.

Imaginary worlds are the only ones we ever have.

 

###

 

I took a car ride to places I belonged.

I rewrote the past over the present.

Everyone should have it the way they want it to be.

No one should complain if the rain isn't silent enough.

The world went on just fine with everybody else.

I had a lot of fears that made no sense.

If there were two of me there'd be too many.

 

###

 

I still had to die no matter what.

Life is a long progression of yesterdays.

Some people wore hats; some didn't.

I went to funerals to see how it was done.

I smoked cigarettes that were only candy for my lungs.

The last person who knew me would someday die.

French fries were a great creation.

Someone should invent one language and stick to it.

It will be night because it can't help it.

I preferred my house to stay in one place.

 

###

 

I never named any children Agnes.

 

###

 

How I died isn't as important as you think.

Earth is like a porch looking out upon the universe.

I always had more fun in the snow.

Bleak days make you internalize.

I didn't remember the name of my sixth grade teacher.

I'd been through a lot on my way to here.

Maybe our parents need us more than we need them.

I never used the light switches much.

 

###

 

I'll probably read a book while I wait.