The Writing

I can feel the phlegm –

feel it way down inside me.

It feels like a balled fist

wrapped around my heart.

I cough it up. I make

this sound like hhttthhhttt

and up it comes but

there seems to be more

so hhttthhhttt again

and another glob emerges.

It’s fascinatingly gross

but I feel much better then.

That balled fist deeply

wrapping the guts of my heart

and for just a moment

the hhttthhttt makes it better

and the only moments

I feel like I am really living,

not just merely alive

is now when I can hhttthhtt

all over the page like I did

just now.